How Not to Be an Outcast in College

friends holding hands together

Being an outcast, or socially inept in college is rather costly. It translates into a less productive and memorable college experience. Whatever, but if that’s something you would rather learn to avoid, then this article is for you. Though it’s a subjective topic, here’s a step by step breakdown of your typical anti-outcast college strategy.

1. Work on You First

The only thing that separates you from anything, any goal or objective, is you. Within reason of course. But there are no real walls between you and a robust social life in college. The only thing in your way is your unique “narrative” that you define yourself with. Change that first. Work on you first. If your attitude is horrible, nothing else you do will help all that much anyway.

2. Read Some Dale Carnegie

If you’re a college student today, chances are good ol’ Dale is a bit before your time. Whether you buy it as an eBook or paperback, read this: How to Win Friends and Influence People. If this were the only book you ever read for personal gain, it’s the perfect choice. Odds are just like the countless millions before you, you’ll not only read it again, but take notes and memorize his simple concepts as well. If readin Dale Carnegie is too much for you at the moment, at least read our article on how to deal with having no friends in college.

3. Be the Good Servant

At all times be looking for ways to be of service to people without causing them to lose face in any way, or put yourself in a position where you end up getting taken advantage of. When you do get the chance to be of service, go above and beyond 100% of the time. Both Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill are big fans of the parable (New Testament).

Seriously: If you develop this practice into a habit and stick to it, you will undoubtedly live a prosperous life and make many friends throughout your life. Though many people think that making friends after college is a struggle it is not really so. No matter what it is, go above and beyond without asking for extra pay or recognition.

4. Grow Up

“Grow up” could mean all kinds of things. In this context, we’re referring to how you choose to project yourself to other people via your outward appearance. It doesn’t mean caving in completely, or totally selling out. It just means telling the world around you that you respect yourself. By all means sport some personality in your style, but make sure it’s clean. If you don’t take yourself seriously, hardly anyone else will.

5. Say These Two Things All the Time

Let’s be clear, these are affirmations and there’s absolutely no question that they work miracles. Successful and worldly well-connected people use them every day of their lives. However, when you say these two things to yourself on a consistent basis (10 times a day in the beginning) embody them. Get into it! Make it real!

  1. Every day I meet the perfect people for me.
  2. No matter what I choose to do or say, the right people see and hear me.

6. Remember This Statement

Check this out, and no, we haven’t the slightest clue who the quote originates from:

“I am not what I think I am, and I am not what they think I am. I am what I think that they think I am.”

Once the depth of that statement hits you and you really get it, you’ll never be the same. What you think people think about you (if they think about you at all) is almost complete rubbish. Yet, how much of what we say, do and think every day is influenced by this self-imposed illusion?

Get it straight because this is reality: people really care about just one thing (themselves) no matter how you slice it. Regardless of how noble or righteous, at the end of the day all we really experience in this life is ourselves and no one else.

7. Play to Your Strengths

In light of the last statement, you should obviously play to your own unique traits (strengths). You’re the only thing that sets you apart from everyone else, so express you and be unafraid. If it’s respect you want, this is the most direct route.

When you play to your strengths and stand as yourself, unafraid before the insecure eyes of your peers, they will not only be drawn to you but regard you as a “really cool person” in that neutral sense that appeals to everyone.

8. Understand the 6 Human Needs

The more you know about what every human being needs, the more equipped you are to use this knowledge to your benefit (and theirs).

  1. Comfort
  2. Uncertainty/Variety
  3. Love
  4. Growth
  5. Contribution
  6. Love/Connection

As you can see, 99% of what it takes to avoid being an outcast in college is psychological in nature. And no, that doesn’t mean we think you should be a psych-major.

What do you think, did we nail it? Tell us in the comments!

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