10 Mental Disorders You Can Get in College

mental disorders in college

If you’re not careful college will drive you nuts! Campus is a wild ravenous battlefield where futures are decided, lifelong friendships are fumbled and students make a lot of really stupid decisions. In this post we’re going to skinny-dip in the raw truth.

Let’s check out 10 mental disorders you could easily develop before you walk the proverbial plank (graduate).

1) Depression

Depression is one of the most common psychological issues in America today. According to the experts, almost every single student you see walking around on your first day as a freshmen is suffering from it to some degree. If you’re not careful it’ll rub off on you before the end of first semester English. The good news is that there are a few options which can easily cure this.

  • Don’t major in anything that starts with P or S.
  • Don’t make college an ego trip.
  • Don’t shower in your bare feet.
  • Don’t sleep around.

2) Social Anxiety

Social pressure coming from every angle. Get good grades. Be awesome. Be reckless! Get laid. Get invited to parties. Be a college rock star…it’s unsustainable. You can’t be cosmically cool for long. And, for those that have no hope of being in the lime light (at least not yet), social anxiety can be a real bummer.

  • Only compete with yourself.
  • Your college experience is yours, not theirs.
  • Take a breath, relax and sip your beer please.
  • Unless you plan on being a professor, college is temporary.

3) Agoraphobia

There’s freaking people everywhere all the time. The dorm’s as packed as the lectures, gyms, chow halls and bathrooms. College is seeping with humans! After a while it can wear on you. The world starts getting too crowded and begins to close in around you. Once you can no longer take a step outside without wearing a hoodie, you’ve got agoraphobia.

  • Workout super early in the morning.
  • Live off campus.
  • Take night classes.
  • Major in geography or astronomy.

4) Porn Addiction

Oops, sorry. Our mistake. Everyone knows that college students don’t have time to watch porn. We’re too busy engaging in full stadium-sized orgies in the afternoons.

5) Insomnia

Right, so who has the time to sleep? Honestly, could the tech-department nerds please hurry up and allow us to become bionic quasi-mechanical humanoids that no longer need to? College is 50% more expensive. Student needs to get it done in half the time with 100% better GPAs. There’s parties to attend. Games to riot after…

  • Don’t major in computer science.
  • If you’re worried about grades, remember sleep is as important as studying. Ideally 8 hours before tests, but power napping has its merits.
  • Lose the energy drinks.
  • Remember to flex other muscles besides your brain.

6) Hook-up Syndrome

Once you get sucked into the hook-up culture where a text conversation is courting and monogamy is unheard of, it’s hard to escape it. It’s super-hard to fall in love in college these days, both for men and women.

  • Don’t sleep around.
  • Don’t make sex a priority.
  • Don’t substitute technology for traditional courtship.
  • Don’t make the mistake of imagining porn is anything like real life.

7) Personality Disorder

Because of how much people change throughout college, it’s easy to lose sight of your core self. That thing you were before the world started to mold your personality. That consciousness who peered out through newborn eyes and began taking in information. That’s who you are. Remember that.

  • Avoid defining yourself based on trendy/popular nonsense.
  • Don’t resist personal evolution, roll with it.
  • Remember that everything you do and say is branding you.
  • The key to peace of mind is self-acceptance.

8) Eating Problems

Bulimia, overeating and anorexia are increasingly common in college. Guys think they need to look like Hugh Jackman in the latest Wolverine and the girls are trying to look like some Pop Princess. The entertainment industry has taken things a bit too far. Don’t feed into this nonsense.

  • Don’t become reliant on cafeteria food.
  • Don’t settle for cheap carbs that have almost no nutrition.
  • Organic fruits and veggies are as important to your grades as sleep or studying.
  • Don’t kill yourself to please a bunch of superficial idiots.

9) Chronic Substance Abuse

No way! There’s no such thing as substance abuse in college! Seriously though, college isn’t the place to become an alcoholic. That’s for later…

  • Take it easy, college is 4-6 years long for most people so there’s no reason to go absolutely insane freshmen or sophomore year.
  • Use your grades as an addiction barometer. If they don’t go down or slip, no foul. If they do, you need to ease off a bit and prioritize.
  • Exercise is just as satisfying from the neurochemical perspective as getting high.
  • Drugs and alcohol are simply too expensive!

10) Wait…Math?

If math isn’t your thing don’t fight it. Just take advantage of tutors and get as far as you need to go early on so it’s done and over with.

So, how about it all you mentally ill college students out there, what are you dealing with and how are you coping. Share your story and let us know how you stay somewhat sane.

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